Lucia Mendez Thinks Her New Dresses Are Klassy. Klassy, Like, Beyonce Klassy.

Lucia Mendez was recently accused of stealing wardrobe from Noches De Cabaret, a play where she plays some sort of mid-life cabaretera (because what else would she play, right?). Obviously Lucia denied stealing anything. In fact, she was so offended by the accusations that she hired a fashion designer by the name Jorge Diep to whip up a brand-new batch of outfits. But, sadly, they're really, really ugly outfits. There's one with a sequenced Virgen Maria that not even Paquita La Del Barrio -- who sports crazy dresses like this one -- would wear to a cock fight.

As if all of the above wasn't tragically hilarious in itself, Lucia told a reporter that her new outfits are way better than those ugly things she was accused of stealing. How much better? They're "Beyontz-grade," bitches! (Beyontz = Beyonce):

"I wanted him to make something very exotic. Just look at this fine stitching! Sorry, but you don't see this in Mexico. I think the materials he uses and everything is... Beyontz-grade. Eh... New York."

Sure, Lucia. Beyonce would totally wear those sequenced nightgowns from Kmart -- you're right! Just keep it to yourself. That and all of the other stupid shit you've been saying lately.