Alba: "In Machete I Played A Latina, Which I Totally Am"
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Jessica Alba recently shot yet another Cosmo magazine where she dished on her redonkulous Machete role:
"[Machete] Is the first time I played in a film a Latina. For me, it was the first time I read a Latin women that embodied Latin women that I grew up with. And that I am."
That's just the type of eloquence we'd expect from you, Jessica. Also, there's so many things wrong with your statement that we don't even know where to begin to regulate on your ass. Let's go with a couple of immediate points:
1) So are you a Latina or not? Remember when you said this:
"My whole life, when I was growing up, not one race has ever accepted me, ... So I never felt connected or attached to any race specifically. I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don't speak Spanish. So, to say that I'm a Latin actress, OK, but it's not fitting; it would be insincere."
Jessica, forget your ancestry or last your name, there's no shame in identifying as an American if that's how you were raised. If anything, it's much more shameful -- and at this point, embarrassing -- to pretend to care about your ethnicity when you clearly don't. People are gonna have a problem with it, but whatever; don't 'lie to kick it,' mensa.
2) Which ridiculous character from Machete "embodied" the Latin women you grew up with?
Was it Michelle Rodriguez and her awful Che Guevara taco stand? The nude girl that pulls a gun out of her twat right at the beginning? Or your own migra-but-not-migra role? Jessica, we're not sure what kind of Latina women you grew up with, but none of our sisters, tias, cousins or even our own mother, share any resemblance to any of the characters in Machete. Maybe you grew up in some sort of INS brothel with a built-in restaurant?!?
You know, why are we wasting our time lecturing you? A woman that makes out with Danny Trejo on top of a motorcycle like some cheap calendar girl -- and somehow draws Latina self-identification out of that -- deserves none of our time. Adios.
What do you think?
- LOL
- CHISPAS
- AY DIOS MIO
- QUE CUTE
- NERDO
- NACO
- CURSI
- QUE COOL
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Comments
Jessica is more someone to look at than listen to.
ReplyIt's sad but true.
ReplyThe most common failing of exceptionally beautiful people is sooner or later your gonna have to talk to them.
ReplyMa-she-tay
ReplyHey Go Easy on "making out with Danny Trejo" -- what did he ever do to you?
ReplyDanny did nothing to me, I think he's great. The problem is mostly with the context of his and Jessica's roles within the movie; basically insinuating macho guys always get the girl (No matter how lesbian. Huh, Michelle?) just because they're hard. And Jessica's character, who's suppose to be self-respecting and legit, eventually gives in to Trejo's womanizing. Way to set an example, Jessica. But again, it's not about Trejo, it could be any actor in that role. But this isn't about gender roles, it's about her detached notion of being "Latina."
ReplyI FIRST BECAME PROUD OF BEING HISPANIC WHEN I WAS 18 YRS. OLD, AND THEN, MORE AT 20, AND THEN, MORE!!! AT 45. EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT REASONS AND STAGES IN THEIR LIVES. WE SHOULD BE GLAD AND HAPPY!!! THAT SHE IS EMBRACING THAT PART OF HERSELF. WE NEED . TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. IF WE DON'T WHO WILL??
Reply"Oh my God you guys, like, when I was growing up? Like, here in the US you know cuz I'm not from Mexico or whatever, like, I'm American, like, I never had any Hispanic friends or anything like that, you know? Because, like, my dad? Like, he was the only so-called "Mexican" in his country club or whatever, like, we don't hang out with those people, like, no offense, but, like, you know? Like, I don't speak Spanish or whatever, I grew up with, like, Saved by the Bell and Mac N' Cheese you know? Like, I'm American, okay. But now everyone is telling me, oh Jessica, you're Latina or whatever, and I'm like, no I'm not. I always play white girls on movies, you know, but, like, I realized, you know, that, like, I am Latina, you know? I mean, my dad is, he's part Mexican. But if you want to call me a Latina or whatever that's fine, don't yell at me. Maybe my baby will be brown, you know? I mean, you never know, right? I mean, if you play Mexican in a movie you still get paid, right? Like in dollars? So okay then." --Jessica Alba
ReplyI herby plant my flag as the reverse Jessica Alba, I grew up with a White mother and Latino father and I've never, ever thought of myself as anything but %100 Latino. This is so much the case that my adorably wonderful white wife (the Nancy of Nancyconqueso) insists on reminding me whenever I go on a rant about Big Whitey keeping my peeps down , "Hey, don't forget your half white!" I always look her dead in the eyes and say "Ya, the bad half!".
ReplyShe's so stupid I'm tired of people thinking "hispanic" "latino" or "mexican" is a race. ETHNICITY! That movie does not reflect anything, she's so embarrassing.
ReplyWhy did I remember a cellphone coming out of her snatch? Also, Jessica Alba shut yo mouth and sit down!!! Didn't her own father say that he didn't "speak Mexican?" Anyway, why would a self-respecting woman do a Robert Rodriguez project??? His movies are nothing but an actress-I-want-to-boink fantasy. From Salma, Michelle and Rose McGowan to his most recent obsession, Jessica Alba. She learned that it would be good PR to embrace her Hi$panic $ide.
Reply"You know, why are we wasting our time lecturing you? A woman that makes out with Danny Trejo on top of a motorcycle like some cheap calendar girl -- and somehow draws Latina self-identification out of that -- deserves none of our time. Adios" Well said, thank you!
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